When Adam first met Eve he said
“You’ve got no clothes, let’s go to bed.”
the fig leaves were soon tossed away
Houghmagandie was here to stay
Eden it was paradise
You would scarce believe your eyes
Eve became a centrefold
With Houghmagandie three days old

 

Houghmagandie everywhere
Houghmagandie if you dare
Houghmagandie I’m all right
Wi’ Houghmagandie twice each night

 

2

At the local village hall
We’re going to ceilidh one and all
Choose your partner, have a dance
Tonight you’re in with half a chance
Make some small talk, have a dram
She’s your woman he’s your man
All join hands sing Auld Lang Syne
Then it’s Houghmagandie time

 

3

We’re doin’ a tour of one night stands
Suitcase and guitars in hand
Girls flock to here us sing
But on their minds is just one thing
Wi’ tried and tested chat up lines
We’re on a winner every time
And after singing our last song
It’s Houghmagandie dusk till dawn

 

4

Though I’m getting old and grey
I still go there three times a day
St. Peter’s waiting at the gates
He’ll soon be telling me my fate
But Angels have tae bide their time
Even if they’re next in line
If Heaven is the place for me
There'll be Houghmagandie when I dee

 

 

©  2003 Robert W M Clark